I write these journals in hope that one day you might actually find them and read them but I know for a fact that won't happen anytime soon.

I know that your relationship has been struggling for the last few years and I know that sometimes you don't want to talk to one another. That's ok, I can accept that. But what I can't accept is both of you using me as your messenger person. A referee in your relationship.

Please, stop it. I don't want to be your messenger person anymore. You don't know how much stress you put on me. I'm fed up of relaying messages between you two. This time, I really did think that you had learnt about the stress it was putting on me, but Mum, you clearly didn't. If you don't want to talk and you need to communicate, text or e-mail or just do something different because this method isn't working.

What you two don't see is the tears, the crying and the complete stress you put me under. I know you both love me, and I love you but I can't take this anymore. Please just find another way to at least be civil to one another.

Stop using me. You are both stressing me out.

</rant>

Lots and lots of stuff happening right now! *LeytonC is back from his lastest trip to Japan. I'm so glad to have him back because I miss him when he goes away I've been so busy with him back that I missed my own 1 year as an MN@. It feels wierd but I know I want to do so much more stuff as an MN@. I want to be more active too.

Healthwise, looks like after the Swine flu, I got Glandual Fever Explains why I've continued to feel like crap 9 weeks after being told I have Swine Flu. I've been basically ill the whole time Leyton was in Japan which really sucks.

Uni is busy right now but I'm loving it and the freedom that comes with it. I got my first essay back which was a 15/20, which is a 2:1 Mark! I like that trend...I might even do better too! Awesomesauce

Leyton's party is coming to Aberdeen this weekend too. I can't wait to show them around Aberdeen and the places we like to go. I also get to show Leyton's Mom the new HUGE shopping centre we have! Hehe, sounds like fun

...officially graduated from college with my HND in Social sciences

Today's my 22nd birthday! I've got Guitar Hero 5, pre-ordered another game and money from *LeytonC's parents and my halfstep-dad (don't ask about the halfstep part ) But the most AWESOME present of all was 12 red roses from *LeytonC!!!!! It was sooo super romantic and I've been squeeeing soo much with them!!

Dad had a little party for me in the pub too! Its not over yet but I need a nap...lots of booze etc etc

Thank you so much for all the messages on my profile page and facebook!!!

I'll update when sober...tho I'm not that drunk...